If you often feel like you’re doing everything right yet somehow still missing the mark — you’re not alone.
That sense of being “too much” and “not enough” at the same time isn’t a personality flaw.
It’s your nervous system caught in an old survival loop — one that formed long before you could think your way through it.
When love or belonging once felt uncertain, your body learned to manage it by staying hyper-attuned to the people around you.
You began reading every small cue — a sigh, a silence, a change in tone — as something that needed to be fixed, explained, or soothed.
And over time, that vigilance turned into an identity: “the one who tries harder.”
Psychologically, this pattern often lives inside anxious attachment — the deep drive to stay connected, even if it means losing touch with yourself.
Physiologically, it shows up as a body that never quite rests: shallow breath, tense belly, tight jaw, racing thoughts.
Your system keeps looping between mobilize and collapse, seeking safety through control or self-blame.
But here’s the truth:
You can’t think your way out of this pattern — because it isn’t happening in your mind.
It’s happening in your body.
And that’s also where the healing begins.
Let’s slow it down:
- 🌿 Notice the moment the loop begins.
Maybe it’s after you send a message and don’t get a reply.
Maybe it’s when someone’s tone shifts.
That quick contraction in your chest — that’s your body remembering a time when silence meant danger.
Don’t rush to fix it. Just notice: my body is trying to protect me. - 🌬️ Ground into physical safety.
Feel your feet, the chair, the air on your skin.
Take one slow breath into your lower belly. Let the exhale be longer than the inhale.
This tells your nervous system, the moment has changed — I’m safe enough now. - 💫 Reclaim your inner belonging.
Before you reach outward for reassurance, gently place a hand on your chest.
Whisper, “I’m here with you.”
It might sound simple, but this is how you begin to rewire — moment by moment — from needing safety fromothers to creating safety within yourself.
This is the quiet work of becoming your secure self:
Not thinking less.But feeling more — safely, slowly, and with compassion for the parts of you that are still learning what safety feels like.
Take a breath.
You’re already on your way home.
🌿 Want to keep practicing this?
Join me for the Come Home to Your Body yoga & connection series — every Saturday — a gentle space to reconnect with your body, settle your mind, and grow your secure self from the inside out.
Join the series →email info(at)hannahereandnow.com
Your first session is free.
